


Not Yet, Not Ever

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 17:38:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7767112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus gets injured in a fight. Alec tries to keep his panic at bay to save him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Yet, Not Ever

 

It was supposed to be a standard mission.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Magnus shouldn't have even been here to begin with. It was Alec's fault. All of this.

The shock moment wore off within the second, yet it still felt too long. He set off in a sprint, rushing to catch Magnus before he could hit the ground. He could only see Magnus's back, didn't even know what had happened, only that he was hurt. Badly.

He barely managed to grab hold of Magnus's shoulders before he fell to his knees. Sharp stones dug into his skin, sending waves of pain up his nerve endings. He ignored them.

His hands were shaking where they pulled Magnus closer until his head and shoulders rested in his lap. His eyes landed on the torn and burned flesh right next to Magnus's heart.

He gulped heavily and bunched up the fabric of Magnus's torn shirt to press against he wound. He winced at the sharp inhale coming from his boyfriend. Was that what they were? Boyfriends? They'd never gotten the chance to define this. Between their efforts to find Jace and attempts to stop Camille's plans to overthrow Raphael, they hadn't even sat down for that drink they'd been meaning to get for weeks.

“Come on, Magnus”, Alec muttered. His voice was uneven and shaky, even to his own ears. “Don't do this.”

“Alec!” The yell came from behind him but Alec didn't bother to turn around.

The shockwave Magnus had sent across the battlefield had disintegrated all demons within the vicinity. They were safe – for now – and it was all because of the man lying in the dirt, slowly bleeding out. Fuck.

Magnus still hadn't opened his eyes but his chest was still lifting and sinking, albeit infrequently and with a stutter.

“Can you take my strength again?” Alec tried to keep the panic from his voice but he was almost certain it wasn't working. “Please, Magnus, can you heal yourself? Like you did for Luke? Come on, Magnus. I need you to stay with me! _Magnus!_ ”

There was no reaction.

Alec felt like he was slowly losing his mind. The desperation was starting to kick in, so he did the first thing he could think.

He reached for Magnus's hand, grabbed it in his and squeezed lightly. There was the usual spark upon contact, despite everything but right now, it did nothing to reassure Alec. He could only hope it'd help him get through to Magnus and kick-start his survival instincts.

“What happened?” It was the same voice as before.

“Not now, Izzy." Jace's tone was gentle but insistent.

“Can't we do something?” Clary asked. Her voice was louder than the other's. Typical for her. Alec still wasn't about to respond, not when he could finally feel a small tug.

It wasn't a physical sensation, but rather a mental shift, a foreign prickling, a gentle pull. It was similar to what he'd felt back when they'd healed Luke together. A small comfort among the turmoil.

He allowed himself a small relieved breath as he closed his eyes and hunched his shoulders.

The tug grew stronger, more forceful. It was more of a steady pull now that slowly fed on his own energy reserves. It wasn't exactly pleasant but neither was it painful. Not yet.

Alec grew more conscious of the blood soaking through Magnus's shirt and drying under his palm. He could hear the shuffling of feet on asphalt behind him. His siblings and Clary. They were standing back and observing. Alec hoped one of them had called Catarina. Just in case. The thought was fleeting, quickly to be interrupted by Magnus's uneven and rattling breaths. The small pained noises in between made Alec flinch each time without fail. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and silently begged for his energy to flow faster.

“Come on, Magnus. Hold on ... for me. Please." Alec spoke low enough for only Magnus to hear. “You don't get to leave. Not yet. Not ever. Not if I've got anything to say about it.”

He could feel a light squeeze on his hand and let out a small relieved laugh. It sounded more like a choked back sob.

Magnus's eyes fluttered. Alec stared into unglamoured gold and wished he'd gotten to see them for the first time under better circumstances.

Right on time, the mental pull breached into painful territory. He could almost feel Magnus hesitate as soon as it happened.

“Don't worry about me. Take what you need. I can handle it. Trust me.”

Magnus gave a small, barely-there nod before his eyelids drooped close again.

Alec grit his teeth as the pain washed over him. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax. 

He wasn't sure how much time passed where all he tried to think of where even in- and exhales and not loosening his hold on Magnus's hand, but eventually, the pull lessened in intensity. Then it cut off completely.

Alec immediately opened his eyes.

For the longest time, Magnus still didn't move and Alec had to force himself not to tighten his hold on Magnus's hand just to see if he'd react.

The ache in Alec's bones and muscles became more and more prominent as he sat and waited for agonizingly long seconds.

Then Magnus's lids fluttered open.

“Magnus, hey”, Alec said softly. His voice was shaking. “How're you feeling? How's your magic? Do you need to take more? You can, just- Wait, no, don't move!”

Despite Alec's protests, Magnus slowly pulled his hand from Alec's to reach for the burnt fabric around his wound. Alec slowly lifted his hand but continued to let it hover above the blood soaked cloth.

Magnus raised his head for a second to glance down at the blood and dirt before let out a groan. “I really liked this shirt.”

Alec chocked out another laugh. It still didn't much sound like one. He shakily lifted his hands to cup Magnus's cheeks and traced his features with his thumbs. “By the angel, please, _never_ do this to me again. You hear me? _Never!_ ” He tried to put authority behind his voice but all it did was sound relieved and too full of repressed worry and fear.

“My memory might be a little fuzzy”, Magnus replied. His voice was thick with hidden pain. “But I think it was me that got hit by the demon. I don't think you get to make demands.”

Alec wet his lips. “If you just do this one thing for me, I'll never ask for anything else.”

“Two days and you'll be back on my doorstep asking for help." Magnus lacked his usual teasing undertone, reminding Alec again of just how close they'd come to the end. "But-" Magnus took a deep shaky breath. "Even if that weren't the case, I couldn't take you up on that deal. I don't make promises I might not be able to keep."

Alec nodded slowly and brushed his thumb along Magnus's cheekbone one last time before he straightened his back. “We should get you back home now. You need to rest.”

Magnus nodded, signalling for the others to step in and help.

"We called Catarina but she didn't pick up", Jace said as he and Izzy stepped in to take a hold of Magnus's arms. While they tugged him up gently, Alec supported his back until they got him on his feet.

"It's the middle of her shift", Magnus got out.

Alec hurried to take over Izzy's side and wrap an arm around Magnus's waist to steady him. 

“This okay?” Alec asked.

“Yeah”, Magnus breathed, accompanied by a small nod.

They were only a few minutes from Magnus's loft but to Alec, it felt like the longest walk of his life. He could feel how tense Magnus was, how hard he tried to hide his pain for their sake. They all kept throwing him worried glances and jumped to help and fuzz over him at every single hiss, flinch and wince. Alec had never wanted so badly to be able to create a portal.

Beside him, Izzy kept suggesting that she wanted to say something but so far, no word had crossed her lips.

It wasn't until they'd almost reached the loft that she finally spoke up. “You should stay with him tonight. I'll take care of everything at the Institute for you.”

Alec threw a glance at her. There was a warmth and comfort settling in his chest that only his sister could put there. “Thanks, Izzy.”

“ _No problemo_ , big brother. Just call me or Jace if you need anything else.”

Alec nodded.

The hardest part was getting Magnus up the stairs. He was a large man, tall and broad, made up of heavy muscle mass and while the rest of them had their runes, none of them could help get Magnus up the stairs without jostling him on every step and causing him more pain. When they finally made it into the bedroom, they slowly lowered him onto the bed.

Magnus took a few deep, pain-filled breaths before he settled into the pillows. Alec could see he was still on edge that the pain wouldn't allow him to relax his muscles.

“I'll take it from here", Alec said, throwing the his siblings and Clary only a fleeting glance to catch their nods.

They slowly took a few steps back but didn't seem to be able to bring themselves to fully leave.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Clary asked.

“I'll be fine, biscuit”, Magnus told her. 

It earned him a tiny smile.

Jace cocked his head with a slight smirk that didn't fully hide his worry. “I'm gonna warn you right now: Alec's a mother hen. He'll keep you in that bed for days if you let him.”

Alec threw a glare at his _Parabatai_ which led to a short and silent conversation made up of looks and a bit of eye-brow wiggling on Jace's part.

Alec rolled his eyes.

“Come on, Clary, let's leave them to it”, Jace said. He lightly tugged her arm and started heading for the door. Before they disappeared from sight, Clary threw one last worried glance over her shoulder.

Izzy was the last to leave. “Text me when you wake up tomorrow." She looked from her brother to Magnus. "I think all of us will want to know how you're doing.”

“We will”, Alec assured her.

Izzy offered him a small smile and glanced back at Magnus. “Take it easy for the next few days. We were all really worried back there.”

“I think your brother will make sure of that”, Magnus said in a clear attempt to lighten the mood. When he was only met with Izzy's intense stare, his expression softened. “I'll be fine. I promise.”

Izzy seemed satisfied with the response. After another look at Alec that served as a reminder and warning that she'd show up at their doorstep tomorrow, if they dared forget to text her, she turned and marched after Jace and Clary.

Alec waited for the sound of the front door before he looked back at Magnus who licked his lips and drummed his fingertips against the covers. “So … what a day, huh?”

“You're unbelievable.”

“I'll take that as a compliment.”

Alec shook his head as he felt all tension leave his body. Magnus's usually perfect outfit might be a mess, his make-up might be smudged and there might be dried blood all over his chest and hands, but he was alive. He'd skidded along the edge of death for several minutes but he'd made it. Alec subconsciously rubbed his own blood-stained fingers together. It felt sticky. A memory of his earlier terror washed over him.

“You could've died today", Alec stated.

“I'm aware.”

Alec swallowed thickly. He nodded as he averted his eyes again.

“I've told you before, Alexander", Magnus started. "I can't see the future. I might be immortal, but I'm not invincible. Just because I've lived a lot longer, doesn't mean I won't die before you. I could get killed at any moment, just like you.”

Alec nodded again. He allowed the silence to settle over them for a few seconds while he sorted out his thoughts. “We should get you into something more comfortable before you get some rest.”

“I'd never turn down an opportunity to get you to undress me.”

Alec shook his head but a smile tugged at his lips. “You're shameless.”

* * *

 

That night, they shared a bed for the first time. They didn't discuss it and no words were spoken as Magnus threw back the covers and Alec slid in beside him without further question.

They laid on their sides and looked at each other in the near darkness. Fingertips brushed over skin and breath mingled before lips met with neither of them knowing who initiated it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to get back into writing fanfiction - it's been a while.


End file.
